Was it a dream? Was it a hallucination? Whatever it was, Alice wasn’t really there (I’m pretty sure Wonderland isn’t a real place, all the rabbit holes I’ve explored just ended in dirt), so with that main theme in mind, I embarked on a very self indulgent set of prehistoric selfies and amazing in camera double exposures.

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Somehow this concluded the work for the Alice project. I’m not sure what happened, the sketchbook just ends, but I have a box of prints and negatives including a few undeveloped rolls?!? I know a breakup happened, and as we know, at 17, that’s massive. Though looking back, I was totally the proverbial dick – so to that guy, I’m sorry. There is an evaluation in the sketch book though and the next one is for exam prep (exciting times coming up!) so that’s probably a factor.

Though the project fizzled out, it’s still one of my best bodies of work, maybe not technically, but because of the size of it and the sincere intent to make pieces that have substance. At this point I glanced the idea that photography could be art, that photography is art.

I still have to remind myself that. In this day and age where photography has become such an enormous umbrella, it’s hard to remember that Art is one of it’s segments. Especially when it’s easy to be bombarded by the photography of social media, where the images are mainly scantily clad women, for no other sake than provocative. And for a long time I hitched myself onto that, and the goal became flimsy and self seeking. It wasn’t why I started photography. I lost sight of what I wanted from the medium. That in it’s self was very dramatic.

There’s nothing wrong with shooting nudes, and there’s nothing wrong with the proactive media (as long as it’s all consensual, well managed and all parties are transparent in their motives). I like making beautiful images of women. It can be really empowering in the right context, but for me, it’s not substantial and it’s one dimensional. It’s not really what I want to do, to be known for.

I’m still working on what my “thing” is. I’m not rushing it, and that’s okay. At the moment my heath (which is rats at the moment) needs my focus and more importantly, my daughter. She’s the best.

Okay, so that’s the Alice project done. Coming up next is exam prep and final pieces. It’s more exciting that it sounds! There’s fire!!!

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